Gratitude. I’m not sure if that is a good name for this blog or not..but I literally cannot start typing without a title for some reason! And it does get mentioned a few times 😉
Sometimes I do things because I want to, I know that it’s the absolute best thing to do, and my vision is absolutely clear and precise. You couldn’t talk me out of it if you tried. Other times, the ground is a little shakier, the vision a little less exact, and I can feel a bit like a fish out of water.
My health and fitness journey started over 3 years ago. It was absolute. It was clear. Nobody was getting in my way or steering me off course. I knew beyond a reasonable doubt that I was going to deal with my baggage and give myself the health I so badly wanted. I didn’t do it for anyone else but myself. Others definitely benefited from that decision (hey kids, momma is going to be able to out run you for a LONG ASS TIME so get used to it) but I did it, and still do it, for me first. There are always outside motivators, which in my opinion is perfectly acceptable, reasonable, and normal. You just can’t rely on them long term. I’m still in this for me. I still get up and move every day for me first.
Career is a different beast for me. I’ve never been highly motivated to make a ton of money, I’ve never been a workaholic, I’ve never derived a sense of self from my work. It’s something I do, I enjoy, take pride in, but it’s never defined me. Until now. And this is where the gratitude for my support system has played a huge ass role.
My man, my spouse, my partner, my best friend- he has done so much. I could sit here for hours and list it all but I’ll narrow it down to a couple of biggies. 1) just by being WHO HE IS, automatically makes me want to be the best version of myself. He regularly calls me out on my bullshit, but the flip side of that is that he totally fucking believes in me. Like, actually believes in me. It’s not just lip service. It’s palpable. 2) He ALWAYS encourages me. Champions me. Supports me. It’s a game changer people. Having him in my corner makes me feel like I actually CAN DO ANYTHING.!!! How amazing is that. From where I’ve come from..it’s simply life changing. I know that sounds a little dramatic, but trust me, I’ve been on the flip side and it’s no joke. Game. Changer.
Adding new dimensions to my work life, which bleeds into my personal life, has been a bit scary. The nutrition program. The fitness trainer program. This fucking blog. SO SCARY for me. Out of my comfort zone, out of my box. Will I fail? Will I fall on my face? Has it all been a waste of time? Should I just focus on massage and stay safe?
I can say that now..but even 2 weeks ago I was practically giving myself an ulcer from all the worry.
Thanks to that incredible man of mine, who reminds me almost daily, I KNOW I can do all these things. And probably kick a little ass at it too.
My heart is full of gratitude. For him, for us. ❤