The Words We Say..

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The words we say to and about ourselves are so very, very powerful.  Obviously this particular subject can be applicable to all areas of our lives, but I’m going to focus on the body image side of it.

We get together with girlfriends and we talk about our bodies. It’s inevitable to some extent. When we are with our girls we need to talk about the stuff that is on our minds and hearts; and how we feel about ourselves is huge. In my experience, the stomach area takes the brunt of our abuse. Coming in a close second, our asses. Am I right?

I am SO very guilty of this. I’ve trash talked myself better than anyone. “ya but look at MY rolls, omg, they are huge and so gross”. Seriously. And that would have been on a good day. At 16. Before babies.  It continued on until my 40s. I’d like to think I don’t do it now, and I would love to be all righteous about this..but I was guilty of it just tonight. Not to anyone and not out loud…but definitely to myself. I shut it down fast..so I guess all I can personally brag about is getting better?!

Seriously though, calling ourselves gross? Disgusting? I know I’ve used alllll the adjectives. The nasty ones. We would NEVER say that to a friend, to anyone!! What makes it okay to say it to ourselves? To beat ourselves up that way? I’ll just say it. It’s NOT OKAY.

I have rolls on my stomach. You want to know why? Because I’m sitting down. And I’ve had 2 pregnancies with a grand total of 100lbs gained. (Holy shit, when I say it like that it’s crazy!!) My point is..we ALL have rolls when we sit. It doesn’t make you fat. Here’s what else it doesn’t make you:

A bad person, a bad mother, a bad friend, out of control, a loser, disgusting, less than beautiful, unkind (except to maybe yourself), a bad wife, a bad lover..the list goes on. (And hey guys..this applies to you as well). Chances are..you are probably just sitting 😉

The point is..let’s just STOP the mean girl act with ourselves. Look in the mirror and find something you love about yourself. Doesn’t matter what it is. Find it. It’s probably easier than you thought. Find it and say it over and over again. Believe it. OWN IT.

We all have things we’d love to change on our bodies. It’s just the way it is. Instead of berating ourselves and having a good bashing session, let’s find a way to make those “trouble spots” so completely insignificant that we no longer focus on them. We do that by focusing on the things we love, strengthening them, and learning to not only accept our flaws, but to love them. I’m not saying it’s easy..we’ve had a lot of years of practice on the other side of things..but I am saying it’s necessary. We do not want to pass on this shitty internal or external conversation to the next generation. Let’s teach the young girls that talking about yourself in that way is completely unacceptable.

If you are uncomfortable in your skin, it’s time to do some work. I’m not talking about losing weight, I’m talking about doing what it takes to feel healthy and strong and good. This isn’t about losing weight. There are lot’s of women out there who are a size 2 and feel shitty. #nosizeshaminghere #goesbothways  Maybe you NEED to lose 20lbs. Maybe you need to GAIN 20lbs.  Want to start feeling good right now?  There is major, untapped power in moving your body. Sweating, having your heart pounding, doing something that is hard AF and getting through it. That is something that isn’t talked about enough when the conversation of exercise comes up in my opinion. It’s about how it makes you feel. BADASS. STRONG. CAPABLE. Pretty hard to trash talk your body when it’s just gotten you through a workout, a run, a swim, a hike, ANYTHING that is crazy hard! It’s a magical connection with yourself and you’ll find once you start doing things that make you feel badass, you’ll keep doing them. #WIN

I will say this; the friends I hang out with now, do NOT tolerate this sort of talk. My friend Lisa has made it abundantly clear that this kind of conversation WILL NOT happen with her. She won’t participate.  If I even come close to saying something negative, she shuts that shit down so fast you wouldn’t believe it.  I love it. Truly. I sent her a picture one time while I was getting my hair done and I said something about my legs looking like stuffed sausages (it was a bad angle for my poor legs) and I felt like she was gonna come through my phone and throat punch me! Love it. She’s a good friend. When I’m with my girls now, we talk about fitness, health, nutrition, men, kids, all the usual stuff. But we don’t go down the road of trying to one up each other on how fat we are or how we binged on food and are full of shame and regret.  It’s really nice.

It all starts inside. If we speak with kindness to ourselves often enough, it can become a habit, one that we can share with our friends. They deserve it and so do you ❤

 

CM

 

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